shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
