Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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