I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
