3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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