I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
