everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
