508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
