Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
