So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
