well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
