So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
