I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
