I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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