I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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