A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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