Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Green mimosas i think yes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
