Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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