SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
a search helicopter?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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