he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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