i need an iv and a liver transplant
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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