So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
