He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
