everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
