Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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