If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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