jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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