I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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