PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
