Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
