i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
