Can i not drive my cunt home
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
