It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
