Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
