so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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