That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
