Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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