how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
