I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
