She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
