oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
