i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
