Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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