Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you would pick up someone in the library
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
