who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
