dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
