i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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