Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
