Kiss
Puke
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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