if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
