You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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